Hawks Eye

Being a mother, I realized a lot of different stages in raising my daughter. Today I realized something really good and relevant.

I remember when she was younger, every time we leave home to spend a day at a playground or at a place that Nike can mingle with other kids, I would usually tail her like a dog. Guiding her every step and making sure that no harm comes her way, thats what parents does, most especially mothers. We would like to make sure that our children are safe no matter where she goes, what she does and whom she plays with. We often feel defensive when our children get hurt or want to yell at those other kids who pushes our own, whether we admit it or not, this happens, we just often take control of our emotions and approach other children with caution and respect to their parents.

Today I realized that even though I tend to keep a watchful eye at Nike, I now have the peace of mind to leave her at the play area of McDonalds for a short while, while ordering food for us, this is something I never would have done when she was still a lot younger. Although while in line at the cashier I tend to look over my shoulder every minute to make sure that she is still there and that no one is giving her a hard time.

Then today, I sat to a table that’s a bit far from the play area, also something that I don’t usually do. I usually sit at the table nearest the slides so that I can make sure that no one can take her or push her or just so that she can see me every minute that she is playing. But I also realized that even though I tried to give her the chance to play on her own and be independent, as a mom, I cannot resist looking over wherever she is to make sure she is safe. I call out her name when it takes some time for me to have a glimpse of her. And even though I can see her from a distance and I was busy reading a magazine, I feel myself glancing towards the play area every few minutes to make sure she’s Ok. I felt like I was a hawk on a hunt for predators.

Maybe eventually I will learn to trust my daughters instinct and be more comfortable letting her play without my guidance or overseeing, but until that day I am here to make sure that no one can harm her. And maybe even when she turns 18 or even 30 I will still be continuing to look up and look for her just to make sure that everything is Okay.

She will always be my baby girl and nothing in the world can change that, it doesn’t matter how many birthdays come and go. I will always be her mother, a mother that wants only the best for her child.