This year has definitely been a difficult year for me, for us, with my husband leaving for Singapore and all. But one thing that had kept me sane is being able to look forward to things and this year besides being filled with missing Noel has also been filled with good things to look forward to.
In January, although I felt as gloomy as ever, I atleast had february to look forward to and dread at the same time. Last year my sister and I booked a flight and accomodations for a 5 day vacation in Boracay. We scheduled it when we weren’t certain yet that Noel will be leaving for work. We booked everything planning that it will be like a double date / double honeymoon for me and Noel and my sister and her husband (kuya Rio). It was gonna be the greatest vacation ever, because Me and Noel and My Sister and Kuya Rio never had our own proper honeymoon. I got myself Pregnant before marriage, and there was just no time for honeymoon after the wedding because of a newborn and all, and it was the same for my sister and kuya Rio, they got married when my sister was around 3 months pregnant with Kian, so no room for a honeymoon too. It was all planned, we booked the flights late August and it was set. Then Noels Singapore Applications finally pushed through and he was scheduled to leave on December 3, 2009. I still decided to push through with the Boracay Vacation and I just invited my bestfriend (kate) to accompany — although it took me quite some time to convince her to come, and my sister invited one of her closest friend (Angel) and the three of us ended up sharing the best Boracay trip I’ve had last February 23-27. That was something that kept me sane all of January, preparing for the trip. Although some nights when I was in Boracay left awake because I’m missing my husband and wishing that he was there with me, I still had a really good time — but towards the end of vacation, I’ve looked forward to going back to Manila because 5-days apart from my daughter has been the longest I’ve gone without being with her.
Once I was back from the Boracay Vacation — I started looking forward to the Singapore Vacation that Nike and I will be having towards the end of March and the preparations for that kept me excited and sometimes took my mind off being lonely about being away from Noel. The vacation was also pre-planned Last year around December 2009. Right after my husband left for Singapore, I have become obsessed with becoming in the newsletter of Cebu Pacific and Tiger Airways and when I would ever so often (everyday) look at airfares to go to Singapore, and one day (A week after Noel left) I decided to book a flight Singapore for Nike and myself via Tiger Airways for March 2010 - it was a 9 day vacation that Nike, Noel and I enjoyed so much. Well atleast we enjoyed the time when we were in Singapore, but I hated the travel to and From Clark - Manila. This is also the time I realized that I really really didn’t want to raise my daughter here in the Philippines, I want her to get to know a place where she wouldn’t be scared to walk at night, or hide her phone from strangers when taking a call. I just fell in love with Singapore and from then and there I started looking forward to living there with my husband.
When Nike and I came back here in Manila from Singapore, I was devastated. It was a hard thing to experience. To be reunited to your husband and be separated again not knowing when you will see each other again. So after a week, Noel and I talked about me and Nike spending Christmas in Singapore with him. So when I was booking a flight I decided, why just spend Christmas together, I’m sure Nike would be more than thrilled to spend also her birthday with her daddy. So I booked a flight for Nike and Myself to Singapore from December 8 - 29 2010. 3 whole weeks in Singapore, a complete family spending birthdays and Christmas together — a really great thing to look forward to.
After a few days I received a newsletter from Cebu Pacific indicating a seat sale that is valid for travel from January - March 2011. Noel booked a flight to come home to the Philippines for the week of my birthday. 1 whole week to spend with my husband! A great birthday to look forward to.
And just tonight when Noel showed me his work schedule for the year, we saw a spot of 5 work days that he can file for a leave from work which will give him 14 whole days off of work and he will be coming home again from September 26 - October 10 of this year. He just filed a leave today and we will know for sure of its approval or rejection sometime this week. But if this push through it will be a whole 2 weeks with my husband here in the Philippines with me, our daughter and him to spend. And I am so looking forward to spending those 2 weeks in September/October with him.
What I realized is that sadness is inevitable but if you fill your days with things to look forward to then it wouldn’t be so bad. Things to look forward to doesn’t always have to do with travelling, but it could also be things that could temporarily take your mind of things, like taking a class for something that you have always wanted to do, or going out for a scheduled drinks with your closest friends, or even a scheduled walk in the park with you and your daughter. Instead of filling your days with sad thoughts, fill it with plans, Instead of filling your head with old memories that make you cry, go create new ones with those you have around you and before you know it you are happy again.
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