In my situation right now, being away from my husband, I did not know there will be something more painful than having him away from us, until tonight.
I was busily looking for ways to get our family together in Singapore in the earliest possible time. Researching about Nike’s Student Visa and how it works and if it works for Pre-School children, according to my research it is possible, so I started researching for Pre-Schools where I can inquire to enroll Nike next year (2011).
Then Nike spoke to me as if feeling that I am thinking about Singapore, she said
“Mommy, yesterday Nike rode the big airplane… and then Nike cried in the big airplane, yes?” — for her yesterday means any moment in the past.
I said “yes baby”. Then went on doing more research.
After a couple of minutes she stood in front of me, looking troubled, then she approached me silently and carefully as if looking for comfort, so I put my arms around her and hugged her tight. When she pulled away she said with pain in her eyes and tears rolling down her cheeks — she said only one word which said it all: “Daddy”.
So I carried her and put my arms around her and asked, “You miss daddy?” and between silent sobs she said “yes.”
I never knew that with Noel being away, there would not be anything more painful than me enduring the distance, but now I realize, my little girl, a 3 year old heart is full of pain and longing for her daddy, she is in a situation that she can not comprehend and all the hurt must be confusing for her. It breaks my heart hearing the pain in her voice and seeing the hurt in her eyes.
This just makes me more eager to make it possible for our family to be together again, because I know, right now, nothing will make my daughter happier than seeing her family together.
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