Momentary Relapse

I have promised myself that I will become a better mother. And I have been doing a great job at it the past 2 weeks. I felt so proud of myself. But tonight I had a momentary relapse. I got so mad at my daughter tonight when she started crying while sleeping for no reason, at first I kept asking and asking her why, but she wouldn’t say a word, she didn’t ask for milk nor did she say she wanted to pee, she just cried and cried and I snapped, I got so mad I screamed at her, then I felt she wanted to pee and brought her to the restroom, when I was pulling her pyjamas down she peed on herself and I got more upset and screamed at her again. I feel so ashamed of myself because the last two weeks I was able to hold it together. There were no anger and more understanding, but tonight I just had to ruin it. I feel so bad but I know there will be moments that I wouldn’t be able to control myself, I am not perfect, but when I looked at her again after she fell asleep I felt so bad. I took her in my arms cradled her like a little baby and told her I am sorry, in my surprise she said “its ok mommy” then I told her I loved her and she said “I love you.” A tear fell from my eyes realizing how forgiving and loving my daughter is, I knew she didn’t deserve the outburst that I had, and I will make up for it. I just need to make sure things like that doesn’t happen again. I love my daughter and I know I mean the world to her, and I will not disappoint her. I have been making progress and I will not stop, I will not let this slip up stop me from pursuing my goal of becoming a better mom. Tomorrow is a new day to make it up to my daughter.

Image from: Behindmyblueeyes